How to Make Dentist, Doctor & Other Healthcare Appointments Easier for Kids in Foster Care
This article was written by foster mom and Just As Special founder, Natasha Pepperl.
Doctor, dentist, orthodontist, and other healthcare appointments can be uncomfortable for any kid — but they can be especially tough for kids who have experienced trauma.
Having adults touch their bodies — and sometimes perform painful procedures — can throw kids who have experienced abuse into a state of panic and high adrenaline (fight, flight or freeze). It can be difficult for these children to differentiate between good and bad touch from adults which means their subconscious may be telling them they are experiencing abuse during a standard procedure such as a pediatrician checking their breathing.
I have seen tears in the aftermath of an orthodontist appointment and I once had to wait hours for a kid to be willing to get into the car to go home after a doctor appointment due to the fact they were so highly triggered.
Image credit: Kid Focus Dentistry
Here is how you can make healthcare appointments go smoother:
Choose Wisely: Finding a trauma-informed healthcare provider can be the difference between an appointment going smoothly or a child being thrown into a dysregulated state for hours. If that is not possible, ask your agency or other foster parents which healthcare providers they have had good experiences with or ask healthcare providers if they are willing to provide trauma-informed accommodations (listed in the bullet below).
Prepare Healthcare Providers: At the time of the appointment scheduling, notify staff that the child has experienced significant trauma and may find medical appointments very difficult.
Here are trauma-informed accommodations you can request:
Having healthcare professionals explain to the child step-by-step what they are going to do, before they do it
Asking the child’s permission before touching them (ie “Can you please open your mouth so I can look inside for cavities with my tools?”)
Offering breaks during a longer procedure such as a teeth cleaning
Allowing a child to bring a fidget or comfort toy if it will not interfere with administering medical care
Having the child remain in the waiting room until their healthcare provider is ready to see them because panic can escalate when waiting in the dentist chair or in small patient rooms
Time to Process: Notify kids of their appointment the week it is occurring which gives them a heads up so it can be expected — while also not causing undue stress from dreading it for weeks.
To help calm nerves, ask them if they have any questions and also give them all the details you know including:
If and where they will be touched
If any pain or discomfort can be expected
Whether they will be seeing a new healthcare provider or one they have seen before
How long you expect the appointment to last
How long the drive to the appointment will be
Reminders: It is not uncommon for kids to forget they have an upcoming appointment as a survival mechanism. So it is important to remind kids the day before and morning of when to expect their appointment so it doesn’t come as a surprise.
When you are preparing to leave the house, let them know you are leaving for their appointment. Waiting to notify them until you are on the way or have arrived will cause a break in trust and damage your relationship.
If a kid is having a hard time getting in the car for an appointment, be patient and flexible. It is better to reschedule the appointment at home than for the kid to have a meltdown at the healthcare facility and the appointment unable to be completed, which would also require a rescheduling.
Day-of Supports: If you know your child has a history of difficulty accepting healthcare, consider asking another adult to attend the appointment to help distract/play with the child during doctor or psychology appointments where you may be expected to answer a lot of potentially triggering questions. This adult should be one the child trusts and is already familiar with such as a family friend, home coordinator, CASA, mentor, etc.
Here are some other ways to make the appointment go smoother:
Bring along a new toy that requires concentration (such as legos or a coloring book) to distract the kid while they are waiting to be seen.
Remind medical staff of the trauma-informed accommodations you asked for when scheduling the appointment
Plan something fun to do after the appointment that is both fun and can help bring kids bring their adrenaline back down that you can continually remind them of during the appointment (ie “After this we are going to get pizza for lunch! What kind are you going to pick?” or “I can’t wait to play at the park with you after this! For teenagers this could be walking or biking with them to a grocery or convenience store and allowing them to pick out some snacks.)
Acknowledge their feelings and help them name and normalize them. (ie “You are more fidgety than normal so it seems like you might be feeling nervous. I sometimes get nervous before doctor appointments too, it is normal to feel that way.”)
Provide reassurances but be honest. (“I know you don’t want to get a shot and I know you are scared of needles. A shot can hurt for a second but I will be here with you the whole time and you can hold my hand if you want. It will be fast and then you will be all done.”)
We’d love to hear from you! Please share your tips or questions about making healthcare appointments go smoothly in the comments section below.
Meet Kid Focus Dentistry
As stated above, finding a trauma-informed healthcare provider can make a world of difference for kids who have experienced abuse. We’ve created a foster care resource database for Colorado families and we are proud to partner with and highlight local providers who are trauma-informed such as Kid Focus Dentistry.
Kid Focus Dentistry isn’t just dentistry. They pride themselves on their mission of “dentistry with a whole child perspective.” This perspective is implemented in every treatment and every interaction with each patient.
They are a trauma informed office in Wheat Ridge, CO which understands that patients’ emotional needs are just as important as their physical needs. Their office sees beyond just teeth, providing first class and comprehensive treatment with an early intervention approach.
Their team strives to create a positive and easy experience for all patients and their families by having a fun and welcoming environment with flexible schedules that can accommodate even large families with many kiddos.
You don’t have to take their word for their work. Kid Focus Dentistry has a 4.9 Google Review rating with more than 400 reviews!
Learn more or schedule an appointment here and let them know that Just As Special sent you!
Patient Reviews
“My son has sensory problems and they took their time to make him comfortable during his visit. My son absolutely loved it. Would recommend to all of my friends! Love this office!” - Cheyayn Tucker
“I take my daughter here and always have. They’re so nice! So gentle and make sure I’m tuned in to everything that they’re doing. I get to hold her hands and the dental assistants are so nice and really take care of my daughter and make sure she’s comfortable.” - Corine S.
“My children have been going to Kid Focus Dentistry for over 12 years. They are very friendly, professional and I adore the way they treat children. They have always taken time to explain everything to children. They are very clean, attentive and I could not ask for better service. The place is one of the most kid friendly environments ever. They take the time to listen to both my concerns and my child’s concerns. Cannot go wrong when choosing Kid Focus Dentistry!!” - Audrey
“The minute you walk in the front desk welcomes you and acknowledges your presence. The team performing the cleaning or extraction make my granddaughter feel comfortable as they explain exactly what she can expect. Because of this approach, regardless of the procedure done, the visit goes goes very smooth. Thank you team for your focus on our kids.” - Mary Trujillo
“I love this place. They play movies for each kid while they're working on their teeth. It's a great distraction and entertains them at the same time. My kids don't mind going to the dentist. I know it's because of the staff - they are very efficient, knowledgeable about what they are doing, and fast without rushing. This is the best dental experience that’s possible to give a kid.” - Angela Anderson
“I am so excited that Kid Focus Dentistry partners with Just As Special because they provide and support for such an underserved group.
Advocacy for children in foster care is often overlooked and underfunded so organizations like Just As Special are such a gem!”
— Torri Gallion of Kid Focus Dentistry